Why?!

I'm struggling to sleep right now because a tornado of thoughts is wreaking havoc on my mind. I have a lot of decisions to make in the short months ahead. How does anyone make large decisions?! And what do you do when the things you want to happen don't work out?! (Or at least it seems that way right now.) My dreams seem unreachable. I'm looking for change but can't seem to find it. Change should be easy to find, right? Why do I find it difficult to obtain? They always say change is the only constant. Why isn't it a constant in my life?! Despite all effort on my part I can't seem to change anything! . . . Maybe some day!